Apologies for our lack of reporting but last month the Dictators' Today Office was hit with a bomb. A crazed maniac came at the building with a sharpened explosive device and proceeded to bash it against the front door.
Seconds later an explosion occurred that tragically injured ten work placement Media Students and Burney's afternoon cocktail. The assailant was less lucky managing to escape with death from the self inflicted blast.
His motives remain unclear but it is believed he is a member of the Eamonn Holmes Appreciation Society and had nothing better to do. Eamonn Holmes was willing to comment but no one was willing to listen.
The blast caused irreparable damage to the functioning of the newspaper and so the staff decided to take a much needed holiday to the Lake District hoping everything would be sorted upon their return. This was not the case when we rocked up at HQ yesterday and so after purchasing a brush and a few bin liners the Media Students have set to work repairing the damage but it believed that we will be out of action for sometime.
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