"I Like Ducks" says Kim Jong Il

by Shaky Parkinson

Kim Jon Il has today stunned the world by breaking his vow of silence with an unexpected press conference.  The North Korean Leader sprang from his box earlier and was keen to offer up a Q and A to the quickly assembled press. Unfortunately this consisted of Penny Withers, a local pastry inspector from Reading who was on a naive work exchange program at the time.

Speaking from the press conference she was delighted to report that Kim Jon Il, "Like's Ducks".  No one is quite sure if Ms. Withers is playing an elaborate game of Chinese Whispers or if the Dictator has taken the time out from persecuting his subjects to demonstrate a lighter side to his nature.

Nature was indeed on the cards as Kim Jong Il pledged his countries remaining food budget to creating a 30,000 acre bird sanctuary.  Asked if this was an act of insanity Kimmy responded with a resolute, "I like ducks".

These constant affirmations given by the sexy tyrannical bugger before his swift departure in his magical space carriage clearly signify a change for the worse and a number of fellow rulers have been quick to damn him.  "We aren't supposed to like ducks," ranted former dictator Gordon Brown, "It just isn't part of the image."

Either way interest has already faded with the announcement that Paul Kagame is rapidly becoming addicted to jelly.